Werner Herzog's Insignificant Bullets

Dudes don't pay enough attention to the doings of Werner Herzog so I figure I'd enlighhten people. How awesome is Werner Herzog? This is a guy who gets SHOT in the middle of a BBC interview. No, for real, this is an old story, but people don't seem to know it, so check it out and learn about being a hardcore interviewee: Also he ate his shoe as part of a bet with documentary filmmaker Errol Morris. And how about the time when Herzog was having a tough time making his crazy awesome movie Fitzcarraldo and he started taking a realistic view of the jungle (this clip is from the documentary Burden of Dreams): What is Herzog up to right now? Lots of stuff! Check it out:

-His latest documentary, the Antarctica-based Encounters at the End of the World, is now in limited theatrical release. One review called it the "anti-March of the Penguins"! Sounds pretty great, check it out if it hits your area.

-Just released on DVD, Herzog plays a crazy person (yes, he is also occasionally an actor!) in The Grand, an ensemble comedy about poker players that I haven't seen yet but I hear is relatively funny. One thing everyone can agree on is that Herzog is ridiculous in it.

-He also plats a crazy person in Harmony Korine's new film, Mister Lonely, which is a film about a Michael Jackson impersonator who falls in love with a Marilyn Monroe impersonator and they move to Ireland to live on a commune of celebrity impersonators. I also read something about nuns parachuting off airplanes with bicycles or something. Sounds pretty awesome! Harmony Korine is a crazy person. Again, this is also in limited theatrical release.

-At Cannes, Herzog announced that his next film project would be some kind of remake (or something; details are still unclear) of the Harvey Keitel film Bad Lieutenant. The original director, Abel Ferrara, was particularly unhappy to hear this and had some choice words for our German director. Herzog's reply to the man whose film he is remaking: "I have never heard of Abel Ferrara, who is he?"

Werner Herzog is awesome.

REVIEW - The Mist

I had heard some cool stuff about the latest Stephen King cinematic adaptation, Frank Darabont’s The Mist, but the winter holiday film schedule was a bit too tightly packed and I missed seeing it on the big screen. Which is a bit of a shame, because it was a pretty decent movie. It's a perfectly decent DVD, though.

Thomas Jane, a guy I’m slowly gaining respect for, plays an artist who goes to the supermarket and ends up having a really bad day. I’m not going to get into what happens, except to say that there are creatures and there is blood. There are some other great actors in the film like Andre Braugher and Marcia Gay Harden, who plays the local crazy lady. This is the first film I’ve seen Toby Jones in, and just so you know, if you see that Toby Jones is in a movie you might want to check it out because the guy is the real deal, folks. He is great. Jeffrey DeMunn and William Sadler, two Darabont vets, also perform admirably.

There’s a lot of solid work going on here, considering this is ultimately a b-movie. And make no mistake, The Mist is totally a b-movie on purpose, with all the requisite scares and occasional buckets of blood. It’s just an incredibly well-crafted b-movie, with some pretty good CG work. But the script constantly reminds us of what the deal is, what with people repeatedly using the title of the film all the time. “What is this mist?” “What are we going to do about this mist?” “Who will stop this mist?” etc. It was pretty awesome.

The film is as much about the titular mist outside the supermarket as it is the tense, frightened people inside the supermarket, and in true King fashion how sometimes humanity can be the worst problem to deal with, certainly worse than that barbed tentacle that worms its way into the loading dock…

For those that have read the short story, the film ends a bit differently. Possibly controversially so. It’s a pretty crazy ending, I will say that. It’s pretty messed up.

The DVD was pretty good, Frank Darabont has another one of his entertaining and extremely informative commentaries. There is also a short featurette about the artist Drew Struzan, and how his work is basically the awesomest stuff. I am told that the 2-disc set has a black & white version of the film. This sounds like a very good idea, actually, and I hope someday to check it out.

So if you want to see a movie where an old lady makes a flamethrower out of an aerosol can, The Mist might be for you.

REVIEW - Be Kind Rewind

This is going to be a short review, because quite frankly the film isn't worth the time.

Not that it's a horrible film or anything. It's certainly got a great idea and it's very cute and the ingenious refilming of movies is funny and all, but it just seems like a good idea that never fully develops from the pitch stage.

Jack Black and Mos Def try their hardest to keep this thing afloat, but there's very little substance to the film. And when I say Jack Black tries hard...I mean, the guy just overacts like there's no tomorrow. It's a bit much, really. Mia Farrow is kind of funny as an old lady. Danny Glover is kind of a nonentity even though he's in a lot of the film. Sigourney Weaver apparently stopped by on the set one day and Michel Gondry threw her into the film, I guess. I mean, what's up with Sigourney Weaver being in the movie for ONE SMALL SCENE? And it's too smart of a film to have her show up in a "sweded" version of Ghostbusters or Alien or (dare I imagine it) Galaxy Quest, so nevermind your fanboy wishes.

The characters aren't so much characters as they are cliches of elements of characters. Mos Def is introverted. Jack Black is insane. Mia Farrow is batty. Et cetera. By the end of the film, yeah, you've brought the neighborhood together, but little is accomplished characterwise. There are no arcs here, it's just Jack Black botching the Ghostbusters theme and dressing up like Robocop (which is probably the funniest thing in the film).

So many films are overcooked by studio involvement, but Be Kind Rewind is the rare instance where they might have kept it in the oven just a bit longer. If you're interested, watch the trailer again. It's all the best parts at once.

Fast Food Fried Chicken Update

Okay, so there's been a lot of stuff going on in the arena of fast food chicken that you dudes and ladies may not be aware of, so I'm going to lay it down for you right now.

KFC (aka Kentucky Fried Chicken)

Okay, so Kentucky Fried Chicken changed their name to KFC for a while there, but there was a nasty rumor that they had to because they were growing chicken parts in vats like Frankenchickens so the FDA said they couldn't call themselves a chicken place because what they were selling wasn't chicken. This is not true.

However, what is true is that KFC's chicken doesn't really taste as good anymore. The reason for this is prominently displayed right on their new buckets: 0% Trans Fat. So now you don't need to go to KFC anymore, guys.

Wendy's

Wendy's just got bought out by Arby's. I like Wendy's chicken sandwiches fine, but maybe Arby's can help them with their presentation.
Seriously.

McDonald's

Okay, guys, this is the big news here. There has, of late, been a massive restructuring in the Chicken McNugget scenario. First, they went from 4, 6, 9 & 20 piece varieties to 4, 10 and 20. This is okay, but I still think they should have something in the 15 piece range as well. I don't know. But they also have got to wake up and smell the senior coffee, because they forgot to change their pricing scheme.

The 4 piece box is on the dollar menu. This is a pretty fair and equitable arrangement. However, the 10 piece runs around $4.50. Some quick math while in line behind some of the world's most annoying people will tell you that for an extra $.50 you can get 5 4 piece boxes, or 20 pieces for $5.

Just keep buying the 4 pieces, guys. They'll be out of business in no time!

Prices and participation may vary. Some restrictions apply.

REVIEW - The Incredible Hulk

So I was hoping this new Hulk movie would be better than the previous one, which was pretty okay but not exactly summer popcorn movie type stuff. If nothing else, I was glad Ang Lee's version got all the exposition out of the way, since this one was able to get right down to the business of wholesale demolition.

Louis Leterrier, director of those ridiculous Transporter movies that somehow never feature Colm Meaney, was a pretty good choice to direct this film, since it's wall to wall action. For those of you who like scenes with lots of talking, they have those too. But mostly there's a lot of action-type stuff and the Hulk goes around smashing stuff, as he is wont to do.

Edward Norton starred as Dr. Bruce Banner, and he also took an uncredited pass at the script and produced it. He's very serious about making the character work, and I think he did a pretty good job all around. He fits the Banner character better than Eric Bana did, at least he seems more believeable as a scientist.

I could turn this into a comprehensive cast comparison between the two films, but...okay, I will. But not too much. The other two returning characters, Betty Ross and her father, General Thunderbolt Ross, both were recast and I'd kinda like the old ones back. Sam Elliott pretty much was Thunderbolt Ross, whereas it seemed like this time around they tried extra hard to make William Hurt look like Sam Elliott. Maybe they could have just, I dunno, gotten Sam Elliott? I don't know. Hurt did an okay job though; he didn't sleep through the film like he usually does. And while I certainly have nothing against Liv Tyler (more's the pity), she brings a lot of baggage with her; whenever I see her, I am reminded of 1) elves and 2) her dad, since they look like the same person. I liked Jennifer Connelly just fine. But these are not dealbreaking issues by any means; the film works great with the new actors, just maybe it's a little better if you don't bring casting baggage from the first one into the theater with you.

That said, the film belongs, not to Leterrier or Norton or even William Hurt's insane mustache, but to the man, the myth, the legend: TIM ROTH. The guy's a machine, and no one is having as much fun in this film. In fact, it's almost like he's in a different film altogether, until his storyline finally collides with Norton's in the panicked streets of Harlem.

The always awesome Tim Blake Nelson shows up in a small role as Dr. Samuel Sterns, who will someday be The Leader. I was hoping they weren't going to pull another Curt Connors and just never even hint at who he is someday going to be (how many average people watch the Spider-Man films and wonder why Peter's teacher is missing an arm?), but thankfully Leterrier and Norton take care of business.

To the business of cameos: Stan Lee's is probably the most ridiculous yet. Bill Bixby shows up on a TV clip from The Courtship of Eddie's Father. Lou Ferrigno is a university security guard with a small speaking role, and he also voices the CG Hulk character. And yes, he does utter the phrase, "Hulk smash!".

The Incredible Hulk is a pretty good example of a film that's got action without being stupid. Maybe a bit farfetched, but not at all retarded. I thought it was pretty great. Basically, there's a whole lot of property damage and some good storytelling going on in this film, so if you're into that sort of thing you may want to check it out!

Also, as a side note: Don't stay through the credits, there is no Samuel L. Jackson cameo or whatever. The Tony Stark cameo comes in at the end of the film itself. You can go home, it's okay.