So I made a rare appearance at the local Wal-Mart last night, and while perusing the action figures I noticed something really retarded. Like most things that annoy me these days, it has to do with Star Wars. But this time it has nothing to do with bad dialogue or Jar Jar Binks or the logic behind teddy bears killing laser-wielding, armored troops. This has to do with political correctness. I guess?
Look it's an action figure of a lady in an Imperial uniform! Actually, in the store I thought it was two lady Imperials, but after doing some research I learned that while one is clearly a lady, the less busty one is not a lady but actually Luke Skywalker in disguise (as an Imperial, not a lady, a common mistake, I know), and that they were both Rebels in disguise. Now, I'm all for equality in all its forms and what not, but in the Star Wars universe lady Imperials present a small problem. What follows is an open letter to the continuity folks at Lucasfilm:
Dear Sirs or Madams,
What is the deal with Deena Shan posing as an Imperial officer?
Because of the (admittedly Expanded Universe, but completely backed up by the films) concept of Human High Culture, which shows a general chauvanism (if not outright hatred) for non-human species and a distinct favor towards the pasty white male with a British accent, the Empire doesn't allow anyone other than middle-aged white human guys with British accents into their club. Which is why it kind of annoys me when I see some action figures based on some comic book where Luke Skywalker and a female Rebel, Deena Shan, infiltrate an Imperial garrison while posing as Imperial officers. There is, apparently, no attempt to disguise the fact that Shan is a lady and apparently no one in the garrison questions the fact that there is a female officer walking around.
This whole thing is a problem for me.
While there is precedence for the allowance of female stormtroopers per a licensee note (if that can even be admissible as canon) composed by George Lucas himself in 1977 (and by extension I would say that female pilots could also be plausible), there has never been, in any Star Wars film, an Imperial officer or other official that was not a British White Guy. Not one female, not one black guy, or asian guy, or a Jawa or a Twi'lek or anything. THEY'RE ALL BRITISH WHITE GUYS. I'd like to think this is on purpose. I'd like to think there is a theme here, that the Empire is a little bit of Nazi Germany. That being the case, for example, I don't care how good an actor Denzel Washington or Chiwetel Ejiofor or Naomi Watts or Kumar Pallana or Hiroyuki Sanada is, if you're making a Nazi movie all the equal opportunity arguments in the world won't be able to shoehorn one of them in as the evil, sadistic SS officer. It is beyond the limits of plausibility. Actually, Naomi Watts might work, but the tone of the film would have to be of an altogether different nature...
I know the Expanded Universe has bent the rules of Human High Culture in the past to great effect, but these have generally had extenuating circumstances and have been treated as the special cases they are rather than a matter of course. Such incidences include:
Grand Admiral Thrawn - Probably the best example of a direct violation of this Imperial policy, the Chiss officer's tactical brilliance could not be ignored by the Imperial brass or even the Emperor (though it should be noted that the Emperor himself seems to be above any kind of racism or speciesism, having used people of both genders and a variety of races as accomplices throughout his tenure, though it must be assumed that he tacitly approves of the doctrine of Human High Culture; perhaps humans are easiest for him to control). At any rate, despite his genius Thrawn was marginalized, sent to the backwater of the Empire and didn't come to any kind of prominence or even public knowledge until he was pretty much the only thing the Empire had left to throw at the New Republic. So I buy Thrawn, because it doesn't violate anything we've seen previously in films and it works conceptually. His bases are covered, there are valid explanations for everything. Also, he's pretty awesome.
Admiral Daala - This one's a bit tougher to justify, since she was supposed to have graduated from the Imperial Academy, but due to her gender was passed over for commissioned officer status and various other grievous equal opportunity violations. I don't see this happening really, since we never see a female Imperial officer (commissioned or otherwise) in any of the films. The rest of her story - that due to her brilliance she was hand-picked by Grand Moff Tarkin, promoted to the rank of Admiral, and assigned to an R & D installation inside a black hole - I can buy with little reservation. Tarkin seemed like the kind of guy who would probably be able to convince some young, impressionable lady that babysitting scientists who are building superweapons inside a black hole would be a great career move. All in all, her backstory's a bit half-baked conceptually, but that's probably because she was created by Kevin J. Anderson, who has edited some lovely Star Wars books but the books he's written have been pretty crappy for the most part. Goodness, I tried to read one of his regular novels and it was so terrible I stopped reading it after like 15 pages.
Ysanne Isard - The Director of Imperial Intelligence was also a brilliant field agent and a sharp mind. I buy this, because I buy that Intelligence would probably be more opportunistic than other branches of Imperial government in the area of personnel. You need a Bothan, you get a Bothan. What's the problem with a human female? Especially when she's good at her job. And her father was previously the Director of Imperial Intelligence. And she's politically connected, even having pull with the Emperor. And she had her dad killed so she could take his job. So do I buy this one? Yeah. I buy it. It's a bit of a stretch, but not an impossible one by any means. Michael Stackpole is a smart guy. Also, she has different colored eyes like David Bowie, so that's pretty cool.There were other females and non-humans in the Empire mentioned in various publications, but their sources are so far from canon (kids' books, old Marvel comics, RPG sourcebooks) that their inclusion in this list seems even more pointless than my argument probably is.
So we come to the problem of Deena Shan. A Rebel agent who should, by all rights, stick out like a sore thumb in an Imperial uniform. Instead, not only does she not raise any suspicions, she falls in love with the Imperial captain she's supposed to be setting up. Oh, melodrama. Whatever, guys. This isn't even Star Wars anymore, it's Melrose Place. And there is a place for star-crossed lovers or whatever in Star Wars, just not...I dunno, I just think maybe a Star Wars story doesn't need to have a running undercurrent of "will Deena Shan ever find the right guy?" kind of stuff. Even if I cared I wouldn't care, you know?Anyways, the scenario of female Rebels infiltrating and posing as female Imperial officers cannot possibly work within the Star Wars universe, for the reasons outlined above. I expect that you, the continuity people at Lucasfilm, will present me with a letter of apology at your earliest convenience, along with an asterisk in your records stating that the story where this occurs is not officially canon. Also, I have a number of fine story ideas if you would like to hear them. Thank you for your time.
