TRAILER - The Dark Knight

And this is just the teaser.

REVIEW - The Simpsons Movie

Full disclosure: I have never been a huge Simpsons fan. By which I mean, I do not religiously watch the reruns twice a day, I cannot recite huge chunks of dialogue, and I do not know the name of every single background character.

However, I do like the show a lot and have watched enough episodes to point out Rainier Wolfcastle or Dr. Nick, I know that Homer's workmates are Lenny and Carl, and I know enough to know when an episode is good and when it's really really lame.

Much has been said lately about the downhill direction the show has taken over the last few years (ironically, until press about the film started up, I'd been hearing quite the opposite). I haven't really been keeping up, so I can't say. All I can tell you is that The Simpsons Movie is like a special two-part episode that could have been made like 5 years ago.

I was waiting to see some reason why this particular story needed to be told on the big screen. There is no reason. This could have been a television episode. There's really nothing special about the story, it's pretty run-of-the-mill Simpsons stuff. The scope isn't much bigger than normal. Honestly, I can think of a few episodes (Homer goes to space, Homer goes to an island to get away from the PBS pledge drive and starts licking frogs, the family goes to New York City) that would have been far more suited to a big-screen adventure. But nobody's going to The Simpsons Movie thinking about scope (except me, apparently). What you want to know is, IS IT FUNNY?

What are you, an idiot? It's The Simpsons. Of course it's funny. The real question is, HOW FUNNY?

It's pretty funny. There's a lot of jokes in it. Some are really funny, some are only kinda funny. A few fall flat. It's pretty much like a typical Simpsons episode, but I will say that there was no one thing that was THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE WHOLE MOVIE. The thing that comes closest is the whole Spider Pig thing, which you will be humming for a few days afterward.There's also a censorship bit involving Bart's nether regions which is slightly hilarious as well, and probably one of the few times the film takes advantage of being in a theater with a PG rating. Much has been made of background characters not getting enough screen time. Springfield has a lot of citizens, and I think the film was disjointed enough without making sure everybody got some face time. As it was, I think most of the supporting cast was well represented. One curious thing was the introduction of a boy named Colin, whose entire storyline seemed pretty tacked on. But whatever.

It's certainly worth a matinee, maybe a full-price ticket if you're a hardcore Simpsons junkie. I liked it, but I don't need to see it again. Except maybe the Spider Pig bit.

COMIC-CON: The Incredible Hulk Panel

Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, director Louis Leterrier, and Marvel honchos Avi Arad and Kevin Feige were on hand for Marvel Studios' panel on The Incredible Hulk. Now that the origin story's out of the way, we can get down to brass tacks here. Or will we?

The image above is the new version of the Hulk. Unlike the previous incarnation, which Ang Lee took great pains to make look exactly like Eric Bana, the new one just looks like the Hulk. Ironically, I find it more natural and less distracting.

Liv Tyler had little to say on the panel, at least in English. Some supergeeks asked her to say some stuff in Elvish, and she obliged them. Geeks still represent at Comic-Con, fool. But would it have killed people to maybe ask her something on topic?

The big man on the panel was Edward Norton. In fact, I have a feeling that if you titled this film Edward Norton's Incredible Hulk you probably wouldn't be far off. Norton was initially slightly awkward about discussing his new project with people in his personal life, worried about their reaction to his taking on a comic book film. But once he explained himself, that he really thought it was a good story that he wanted to tackle seriously, people seemed to understand. Also, Norton rewrote Zak Penn's script (to what degree is unclear). This coupled with the fact that Louis Leterrier (Transporter 2) is a pretty good action director but doesn't exactly have a reputation as a huge proponent of acting leads me to believe that Norton's going to have a great deal of input into all aspects of The Incredible Hulk.

William Hurt and Tim Roth were unavailable, as they were still on-set (filming has just started), and there was no early footage to show beyond the picture above. So the panel was unable to have the huge splash that Iron Man pulled off on Thursday. But all in all, it's shaping up to be a pretty decent film so long as there are no hulk dogs this time around.

Today's Video 7/31/07 - I've Seen Everything, I've Seen It All

Patrick Stewart is the funniest guy ever. Don't believe me? WATCH THIS:Extras is like the best show.

Remembering Tom Snyder

Late night talk-show host Tom Snyder died due to complications of leukemia on Sunday.

Snyder was a really cool guy. He had the time slot after Johnny Carson from 1973 to 1982, and was able to land some pretty neat guests. But more than anything, Snyder will be remembered for his gutsy questions and the surprising responses from his guests. Here is a poor-quality video proving this point. Take it away, Conan:

Any guy that goes and interviews Charles Manson AND goes toe-to-toe with Howard Cosell is all right in my book. He was also a champion of the new music of the late 70s, meaning he gave a lot of time to bands of the punk and new wave persuasion. He famously gave 'Weird Al' Yankovic and U2 their first shot at national exposure (seperately, of course), and had an infamously tense twelve minutes with John Lydon and Keith Levene of Public Image Limited. There are so many great clips I could show (I thought about the clip of the drunken Ace Frehley interview, but I figure KISS already gets enough press); after much deliberation I had to show this one. Here is Wendy O. Williams and the Plasmatics performing "A Pig Is A Pig" and very famously smashing a television:The television explosion not only affected the cameras in the studio, it also disrupted the NBC Nightly News being broadcast live two floors below. Pretty awesome, guys. On a later appearance, she would blow up a car in the studio, but somehow I found this performance more groundbreaking.

Tom Snyder was 71, and loved his colortini.

TRAILER - Balls of Fury

And here I was just telling someone I was surprised no one ever lifts the plot from Enter the Dragon for their own filmic needs, when along comes this epic ping pong film...

COMIC-CON: Blade Runner DVD

I posted the trailer for the Blade Runner Final Cut DVD quite a while ago. Here is the skinny, presented by eye-designer Chew himself, James Hong.You may remember Mr. Hong as Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China, or as every old Chinese guy in a film or television program since the 80s.

Hong still gets a lot of work these days (see the upcoming ping-pong epic Balls of Fury), and he was on hand at Comic-Con plugging a number of projects. He joined Ridley Scott, Sean Young, the surprisingly-still-alive Joe Turkel, Joanna Cassidy and visual futurist Syd Mead for the Blade Runner DVD panel. What they said may shock you.

Joanna Cassidy has shot new footage for her death scene. It was always pretty obvious that a double was used for the shots of the replicant Zhora crashing through plate glass windows, and Ridley Scott was never too pleased with the way it turned out. So that's fixed for the Final Cut.

There will be a three and a half hour documentary, Dangerous Days (the film's original working title), with interviews from everyone (including Harrison Ford!). Two-disc, four-disc, and deluxe five-disc sets will be released.Wondering what to get the geek that has everything? Wonder no longer. What could possibly fill all these discs? Along with Dangerous Days, there's the 1982 Theatrical Edition, the 1982 International Version, the oft-referenced but never-before released Workprint Edition (with commentary), the 1992 Director's Cut, and the 2007 Final Cut (with three commentaries). There are also a number of miscellaneous special features, making this box set the definitive and final word on Blade Runner. FOR NOW

The Final Cut will get a New York/Los Angeles theatrical release on October 5. Anything beyond that is currently undecided. The DVDs will be released on December 18, with the 5-disc set retailing at $79.00. Well spent!

COMIC-CON: The Indy 4 Video

As reported back on Friday, the Karen Allen video presentation was probably the awesomest thing to happen all weekend. Check it out!

COMIC-CON: The Get Smart Panel

This is the only available production photo. Just so we're clear.

As regular readers know, this film makes me a bit nervous. But...

Star Steve Carell says he's not trying to reinvent the franchise, just do it justice. Points for Steve. Show creator Mel Brooks has been working closely with the production and may even have a cameo. Major points here. And finally, this statement from JoBlo.com: Carell explained that his vision for the film when he first met with Warner Bros. was that Get Smart should be a comedic version of The Bourne Identity. Everyone laughed but he said he was being serious. He didn't want the character to know he was in a comedy because he thought it would be funnier if the character felt like he was doing something serious.

Steve Carell understands comedy. I am officially looking forward to this film. Anne Hathaway being in it has nothing to do with it.

COMIC-CON: Watchmen Update

The Watchmen comic has a comic-within-a-comic about pirates. Reading the comic with an eye to a film adaptation, one would think this element would be the first to go. Not so, says director Zack Snyder. Apparently, the story will find its way into the film, either in a limited fashion or as part of an extended cut for the DVD.

Also, it was announced that Stephen McHattie will play the original Nite Owl, Hollis Mason.

The release date is 3/6/09. The official website (no fooling) is up, at http://www.watchmenmovie.com so check it out in all it's barebones glory.

Today's Video 7/30/07 - He Gets My Vote

Next year is an election year, so I've already backed my candidate. Look at the facts, and I'm sure you'll agree.

COMIC-CON: Thursday's Paramount Panels

So I wasn't at Comic-Con, but I can tell you some really neat stuff that went down ALREADY. Seriously folks, awesome stuff.

CLOVERFIELD:

“I want a monster movie. I want a great monster movie, have wanted it for so long. We need our own monster, for our own movie. I want something that is just insane and intense.”

- J.J. Abrams

Quint from Ain't It Cool News reports: "[Abrams] told a story about visiting Japan with his son and seeing Godzilla all over the place. That’s when he thought that what we needed was our very own monster icon, in the same type as Godzilla, but something original and our own."

So it looks like we're looking at an original monster film. I'm trying to think, and I can't come up with any kind of original massive-scale crazy monster-attacks-cities monster movie that wasn't some iteration or direct knock-off of King Kong or Godzilla. It's a pretty small genre, when you think about it. I was looking forward to it before, and I'm looking forward to it even more now. Also, that poster I posted about earlier - "monstrous" is indeed just a tagline. Told ya. Still no title yet, though.

IRON MAN: I'm hoping someone posts this footage on YouTube soon. The early footage is, as Quint put it, "actually really incredible. Downey proved he can be Tony Stark. Favreau proved that the practical effects look amazing and that our trust in him was worth it. I can't wait to see more." Sounds like maybe it's even better than I expected!

STAR TREK: As predicted, Zachary Quinto was announced as Spock. What was surprising, though, was the announcement that Leonard Nimoy will also be appearing as Spock. Figure that one out, kids. Also, they're looking to squeeze Shatner in there somewhere (if they can find a legitimate reason for his being there).

INDIANA JONES: Live via satellite, Steven Spielberg addressed the audience along with Harrison Ford, Ray Winstone and Shia LeBeauf, all in costume. This alone would have been super awesome, but then Spielberg left to get something. What he returned with, words cannot describe. Therefore, I will simply show you a picture:
No one was really sure if Karen Allen was actually going to be in the film or not, but I GUESS YOU CAN CONSIDER THIS CONFIRMATION. Raiders was over 25 years ago, but Marion Ravenwood still looks super cute! Pretty awesome, guys. Now I really can't wait for Memorial Day 2008...

Speaking Of Arms...

Squids are slowly inching closer to land in an attempt to overthrow humanity. YOU THINK I'M KIDDING. People really need to take the threat of cephalopod invasion more seriously. You guys are all, "Oh, they can't breathe air, we have nothing to fear from them." Well guess what? WHAT IF THEY'VE ALREADY THOUGHT OF THAT???

At right: a squid scout on a recon mission meets an untimely demise.

A Call to Arms? Maybe Legs?

Why so serious? The Joker has a new website telling people to meet in a certain place (convieniently located right near the Comic-Con in San Diego). To what purpose? For what greater good? We will find out at 10:00 AM Pacific.

Today's Video 7/27/07 - Spam

Yes, Spam. With awesome subtitles!

TRAILER - Dragon Wars

Remember that Christian Bale/Matthew McConaughey movie Reign of Fire? The dragon movie that didn't really have dragons in it all that much? I was not pleased. I mean, I was expecting a movie with lots of dragons. There were like three dragons. But they alluded to the fact that there were many more, which is great but I can imagine lots of dragons in my head for free, I don't need to spend $8 to have Christian Bale tell me about a thousand dragons just off camera.

Well, I'm not sure what to think about this thing, but it's fairly obvious that with Dragon Wars (aka D-War, for whatever reason) there's some large reptiles very clearly running amok. Check it out:

The film is directed by a Korean (by all accounts he's the Korean equivalent to Uwe Boll) named Hyung-rae Shim, but it kind of doesn't matter who directed it because if I don't miss my guess there are DRAGONS CAUSING CARNAGE ALL OVER THE PLACE. Interestingly, Dragon Wars was filmed in English using English-speaking actors, despite the fact that it's mostly a Korean production. Is this going to be a decent film? Probably not, but whatever the quality you get to see Transformers-style destruction caused by dragons, so that's something.

Conclusive Proof of Cloverfield's Title?

I'm going to post this even though I'm extremely skeptical.

Yes, there is a Cloverfield poster that's been leaked to the interweb. Here it is:
Now, some are saying that the film's title is Monstrous. Personally, I think this is just a tagline. Right now, no one really knows for sure, but hopefully we'll find out at Comic-Con. Maybe.

Only $15 for the poster? Seems a bit cheap to me.

Who The Heck Is Jeffrey Dean Morgan?

Apparently he's some dude who did a guest run on Grey's Anatomy.

More importantly, he's been cast as The Comedian in Watchmen.

Maybe this will be one of those Hugh Jackman deals, where some unknown guy comes in and blows everyone away? I hope? Because the dude better have mad acting skillz to go up against the rest of the cast...

Read all about the full casting report here.

That's a horrible picture.

Today's Video 7/26/07 - Cunningham Muffins

Every possible iteration of muffins.

New Spock?

Comic-Con is going to be a happening place. Lots of people are going to be there, like Cloverfield mastermind J.J. Abrams who, lest we forget, is also directing the upcoming Star Trek reboo-, sorry, re-imagining. In between spreading disinformation on his crazy maybe-it's-a-monster movie that he's only producing, he's expected to have some casting news on the Kirk and Spock movie he's actually directing.

Over at another panel entirely will be Zachary Quinto of TV's best show last season, Heroes. Will Sylar return to menace our heroes next season?

Is anyone ever really dead in comic books?

Don't be surprised if Mr. Quinto takes a walk from the Heroes panel over to the Trek panel, though. It has been heavily rumored for some time that Quinto has been lobbying to play Spock, and it looks like this may actually come to pass. Personally, I think it works.

Another persistent rumor is that of Matt Damon as Kirk. William Shatner has publicly endorsed the idea, but Damon himself has called the idea intriguing, but an interweb rumor. Reportedly, Abrams & Co. are skewing a bit younger than Damon, but who knows?

As long as it's not Justin Timberlake...

REVIEW - Our Love To Admire

After a few weeks of deliberation, I have finally come to a conclusion about the new Interpol CD, Our Love To Admire.

My personal belief is that it is AWESOME.

Much like predecessor Antics, Our Love... starts off slowly. "Pioneer to the Falls" keeps a low-key mid-tempo groove, and follows with the slightly more upbeat "No I in Threesome", then downshifts back with "The Scale". The album mostly keeps this pace, alternating between slow burns and rockin' tunes; the main exception is the one-two punch of "The Heinrich Maneuver" followed immediately by "Mammoth". "The Heinrich Maneuver" drives pretty relentlessly, but for a truly relentless song one has only to wait for "Mammoth". Both songs together are more awesome than words can describe.

YOU WILL DRIVE FASTER IN YOUR CAR.

Highlights of the rest of the album include "Who Do You Think" and the ponderous "Wrecking Ball". The album closes with "The Lighthouse", an atmospheric number with some very sparse guitars that sound as if they might be comfortable hanging out with Ennio Morricone for a while on a rainy day and maybe stopping at the book store for some Kafka.

Highly recommended is the music video for "The Heinrich Maneuver", which you can watch without even leaving this site. Embedded video is pretty cool, guys.

Where does Our Love To Admire fall in the Interpol catalogue? Well, I'd say it's certainly better than Turn On The Bright Lights; there's more consistency to the song quality (more killer, less filler) on Our Love.... But Antics is a tough one to beat. I'd have to say Our Love To Admire falls squarely between the two, which I think is more high praise for Antics than it is an indictment of Our Love To Admire.

So yeah, I like this CD a lot and it's getting major rotation in the car and on the iPod. I fully recommend it to fans of Interpol or people who think that cool music is neat, but to the uninitiated, I'd say start with Turn On The Bright Lights and work your way up through Antics to Our Love To Admire and enjoy the ride.

First Look: Southland Tales

They sure do make a lot of comic book movies these days, so it's nice to be able to post about some films based on actual original concepts.

Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly comes at us this fall with the long-awaited Southland Tales. What is it about? Tell us, Wikipedia, o font and repository of all human knowledge:

El Paso and Abilene, Texas have fallen victim to twin nuclear attacks on July 4th, 2005 - a catastrophe of unimaginable proportions which sent America into war. The Patriot Act has been upgraded to a new agency known as USIdent, which keeps constant tabs on citizens - even to the extent of censoring the internet and using fingerprints in order to access computers and bank accounts. In order to be able to respond to a newfound fuel scarcity, the German company Treer designs a generator of inexhaustible energy which is propelled by ocean currents. Unbeknownst to them, the generators alter the currents and cause the Earth to to spiral out of control through space, ripping holes in the fabric of space and time.

In Los Angeles, a city on the brink of chaos, we follow the criss-crossed destinies of Boxer Santaros (The Rock), an action film actor stricken with amnesia; Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar), ex-porn star in the midst of reconverting; and twin brothers Roland and Ronald Taverner (both played by Seann William Scott), whose destinies - on one evening - become intertwined with that of all mankind.

This whole thing sounds like a pretty glorious train wreck to me, but I'm willing to give it a shot. And if you're like me, and think that the above synopsis makes absolutely no sense, just watch this clip from the film:


Also appearing in the film are Booger from Revenge of the Nerds, the "Inconceivable" guy from The Princess Bride, that Asian chick that got cut from Revenge of the Sith, Christopher Lambert, the slimy lawyer guy from Night Court, Donnie Darko's dad, Silent Bob, Lou Taylor Pucci, and Justin Timberlake(?). And a bunch of ex-SNL people and that guy from MadTV who used to be fat.

To not actually find out much more but instead waste a bunch of time being intrigued by the manifold intricacies of the interweb, check out the Southland Tales Official Site.

Southland Tales will be released on November 9th.

First Look: Beowulf

Robert Zemeckis (you may remember him as director of some small indie films like Back To The Future, Forrest Gump, and Cast Away) continues his experiments in motion-capture filmmaking with his adaptation of the ancient epic poem Beowulf.

Neil Gaiman wrote the adaptation (that's what you call quality right there), and the film stars Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie and Crispin Glover. And when I say "stars", I mean they did all the motion capture work and voices. Will they look all creepy like Tom Hanks in The Polar Express?
Well, not quite as creepy, but still pretty creepy. That pic reminds me of Danny Kaye for some reason.

Would you like to know more? Click here.

Today's Video 7/25/07 - Flea Market Montgomery

Apparently, from what I can gather, it's just like a mini-mall. Whatever that means.

The Genius of Wes Anderson

Hey guys, I just found out that director Wes Anderson (Rushmore, The Royal Tennenbaums, my personal favorite The Life Aquatic) did an American Express commercial! And I'm not even cheesed off about him selling out. Wanna know why? Because he didn't. Watch and see what I mean:

This commercial is basically an excuse to do one long take featuring a bunch of people that work on Anderson's films. Pretty awesome, guys.

Also, check out the trailer for his latest, The Darjeeling Limited, starring Jason Schwartzmann, Adrien Brody, and Owen Wilson, all in glorious Quicktime.

Weta Enters the Lucrative Ray Gun Market

Martian invaders giving you the workaday doldrums? Pirates from Uranus hassling your every move? Why not dispatch such surly mountebanks with these awesome ray guns from Weta Workshop. Check out this commercial:

The coolest thing is that this isn't a joke - you can actually purchase these ray guns from Weta's site!

I would cover more steampunk stuff, but Brass Goggles seems to have it covered. Check it out.

Today's Video 7/24/07 - How To Operate A Table Saw

Emo Phillips, take it away.

RANT - Sour Grapes From Entertainment Weakly

If I may take a ranging shot at the direct competition:

Entertainment Weekly. 52 issues a year of being this close to a supermarket tabloid. How did they get Stephen King to write a regular column for them? Surely not for the money. Probably because this inane little glossy is lovingly displayed in every waiting room in the country. That's called circulation, folks. Which means a lot in the publishing industry.

Since Entertainment Weekly is aimed squarely at its target demographic of EVERYONE WHO THINKS THEY'RE HAPP'NIN', DADDY-O, they like to do fun things like make lists. I've been asked why there are no lists on Death By Pop; maybe someday that will happen, but right now I have more important things to do, like keep track of things that are awesome. EW, however, has all kinds of lists. "10 Favorite CG Characters". "Best and Worst Celebrity Blogs." "Top 10 Favorite Movie Robots." As much as I agree with some of the choices, Blade Runner's Roy Batty and Bishop from Aliens were left off this list. Sorry, guys, but both of them were WAY better than Robocop. Or even the Fembots - I mean come on guys. Fembots? And this is one of my big beefs with EW. They try to please everyone, and end up pleasing no one. Fembots?

The worst thing, though, is "The Powers Of Love", where you can rate the casting of various superheroes' love interests. Imagine my dismay to find that 56% said that Kirsten Dunst was "perfectly cast".

I weep for humanity.

My big issue with them right now, though, is their condescending attitude in regards to the upcoming San Diego Comic-Con (July 26 - 29). With ignorant statements about "Klingons in Renaissance costumes running around downtown San Diego," EW comes across a bit like the popular jerkface kid who gets left behind in favor of the misfits at the end of every other John Hughes movie back in the 80s.

Geek money is as green as anyone else's - in many cases more so since the interweb began running the show - and now that all those kids who bought every issue of X-Factor and Deadpool and played D&D in the basement (I'm talking old-school D8 here, guys, none of this newfangled D20 garbage) pretty much OWN THE WORLD now, they represent an increasingly large audience. Studios (except for Fox, because Tom Rothman is a toolshed) game companies and publishers realize this, and have infiltrated Comic-Con en masse (especially over the last decade or so), hawking their wares using actors, creators, writers etc. in endless panel discussions, autograph sessions, etc. Many of the big announcements, like casting confirmations (especially the casting for the upcoming Star Trek reboot) are expected to happen in a whirlwind weekend of big entertainment news in a convention center populated by sweaty virginal basement-dwelling nerds in PORKCHOP SANDWICHES t-shirts who, I'm willing to bet, don't read Entertainment Weekly.

I suppose the best thing I can say for the magazine is that it has a lot of pretty pictures with lots of bright colors and lighting. And my grandmother used to read it in the waiting room at the doctor's sometimes. But she's gone now.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GRANDMOTHER

In all fairness, though, it must be difficult to find that much to fill up all those pages every week, and then, because of lead times, get constantly scooped by every online media outlet in existence. The newspaper has the same problem, but the news paper's advantage is that it's 1) cheap and 2) versatile (kindling, pet waste disposal). As much as I would like to see a puppy use Cameron Diaz's craggy, lunar-surface face as a toilet-training tool, glossy magazines do not have the necessary absorbing power.

EW, why don't you be more like People Magazine? They don't pretend to be anything more than mindless garbage. And they don't dump on geeks and act all elitist. They just spread gossip, they don't even think about geek-baiting.

Just remember, Entertainment Weekly, you started this.

"Klingons in Renaissance costumes running around downtown San Diego," indeed.

More Watchmen Casting News

Now that Jackie Earl Haley, Billy Crudup and Patrick Wilson are all but confirmed as Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan and Nite Owl, respectively, the rumor mill churns with yet more news. Surprising news.

Matthew Goode as Ozymandias - I'm not going to shortchange this guy by calling him a poor man's Jude Law, but I'm sure he is cheaper. The upside is that he's a really good actor who audiences aren't necessarily familiar with, meaning people won't be distracted by Jude Law's star power(?).

Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre - You may not know Malin Akerman yet, but you will. After showing up in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle and a few episodes of HBO's Entourage, Akerman will be seen this October in the upcoming Farrelly Brothers (Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary) film The Heartbreak Kid with Ben Stiller. Despite all this comedy action, I think this'll work because I expect her character to have much less to do in the film adaptation of Watchmen than in the comic. It's only a feature length film, guys - some stuff's going to be cut. We may as well face it right now.

A look at the casting tells us that they certainly aren't going for marquee names here, this list is definitely an example of quality over box office clout. Director Zack Snyder has also made clear that the studio isn't going to throw a ridiculous amount of money into the film, so the casting can also be seen as a bit of a cost-saving measure as well. Hollywood is the only place where mediocrity has more perceived cash value than excellence. I think.

Expect official casting announcements at the upcoming San Diego Comic-Con, which I can't attend because I have a day job and no money.

Today's Video 7/23/07 - Mars, Bringer of War

I can already tell that this week is going to be like the worst week ever, so let's counteract this with some things that are totally AWESOME. Like this excerpt from Holst's The Planets as interpreted by The Monarch's henchmen 21 and 24.

Today's Video 7/20/07 - Have You Got a 27B-6?

Bit of a stickler for paperwork...

TRAILER - The Shark Is Still Working

Jaws was more than just a scary shark movie. It launched Steven Spielberg's career, prevented millions of people from going in the ocean, but most importantly, it gave us the most memorable two-note tune in the history of music.

Think about it. Daa-dum. Daa-dum. The sound of ribbons of flesh being torn from your body by razor-sharp, knife-like teeth lurking just beneath the surface. It's sunk so deep into our popular culture that one doesn't need to have seen the film to understand. It's primal, as if John Williams tapped into some kind of race memory.

Oh yeah, and Jaws also ushered in the era of the blockbuster film, as well as originating the term "high concept". Before Jaws, people didn't really line up around the block to see a movie, but Jaws became such a phenomenon that everyone had to see it. We don't give it a second thought today, but back 30 years ago, this type of thing was unheard of.

The Shark Is Still Working is a documentary that takes an in-depth look at the circumstances behind the scenes of the film and also discusses its legacy today. The filmmakers were granted an incredible amount of access - every living person who had an involvement in the production is interviewed, and I don't just mean the gaffer and the best boy, I mean the big names too: Speilberg, Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, John Williams, Dick Zanuck, Peter Benchley. Scheider narrates the film. No release date is currently available, but this three-hour doocumentary is likely to go straight to DVD very soon.

Tom Cruise is a Nazi

No, really. But only in the movies.

Valkyrie started filming yesterday. Hopefully they got all the location drama figured out. The cool part is that now there's pictures of Tom Cruise in a Nazi outfit.

I was really hoping he was going to have one of those black uniforms like the SS used to wear, but I guess since Tom is a "good guy Nazi" they make him wear white so the drooling masses will not confuse him from the "bad guy Nazis". Or maybe it's historically accurate, I don't know. The eye patch is a nice touch of historical accuracy as well.

Funny thing is, is it just me or does he look 1) like he hasn't aged a day since Top Gun and 2) looks like he just walked onto the set of Nazi Top Gun? Where is Anthony Edwards as "Gans" and Val Kilmer as "Iceman"? (According to Babelfish, Iceman is still Iceman in German. Who knew?) Soundtrack by Nena!

I always thought someone should remake Top Gun with an all-Ewok cast, with all the dialogue in Ewokese and no subtitles, and have it take place in the same setting as the original - an American aircraft carrier during the Cold War 80s. I think it would work. Ewoks trying to fly human-scaled F-16s is somehow amusing to me.

I think I've strayed somewhat from my original point, but isn't it neat Nazi Tom Cruise blah blah blah etc.

Favreau and Downey Talk About Stuff

Iron Man director Jon Favreau sat down with Tony Stark himself, Robert Downey Jr., and they talked for a while about all kinds of random stuff, like Weird Science, Rodney Dangerfield's testicles, Chaplin being an excellent film that made no money, and shooting in Vegas. They don't talk a whole lot about Iron Man, but it's pretty interesting all the same. Check out the video here.

Today's Video 7/19/07 - This Ain't No Foolin' Around

I'm not sure who's idea it was to put these two things together, but it's obvious that Godzilla should have gotten together with Talking Heads years ago.

Indiana Jones and the Endless Procession of Sequels?

Okay. So Harrison Ford is old. He's clearly getting a bit long in the tooth to be believably pounded into a bloody pulp by Nazis/Communists/aliens/whatever for a whole lot longer.

That being the case, why would he sign a three-picture deal?

And why would Indy 4 co-star Shia LeBeauf sign a four-picture deal?

Will Indy turn the hat and bullwhip over to "The Beef", or will Shia hook the old man's wheelchair up to his motorcycle? Perhaps it's time Dr. Jones stopped sneaking out his office window to find the Holy Grail and actually grade some term papers, leaving Greaser LeBeef to do the adventuring? Dunno about you, but I'm not exactly excited about the prospects here. I'm willing to wait and see, though. I guess.

Also, expect word on some kind of animated Indy series, along the lines of the Clone Wars spinoff stuff, in the not too distant future.

Is there such a thing as too much Indy? Let's find out.

Totally Hosed.

I've been keeping up with events surrounding the upcoming Watchmen film, mostly because it's one of the greatest comic book stories of all time. That said, it's not cool when people pull stupid stuff that mess with one of the greatest comic book stories of all time.

I'd posted previously about sites like Rorschach's Journal and The Veidt Method, and expressed some slight disappointment in their executions. Well, it turns out it's not even part of an official marketing campaign, it's just some idiot trying to get noticed but has no idea what he's doing. Sir, what you are doing is spreading confusion and mediocrity all over the interwebs. Please stop.

If Alan Moore cared, he'd be pretty upset right now.

Mad props to Jman for the scoop on this one.

Today's Video 7/18/07 - Celebrating 100 Posts!

To celebrate our 100th post, check out the single greatest music video ever made.


Celebrate the love, guys!

Alrighty then? Not really.

In the history of Bad Ideas, this one ranks way higher even than that whole "hey, let's make a movie where Steve Carell plays a weatherman turned congressman who becomes a modern-day Noah!" debacle.

Because Son of the Mask and Dumb and Dumberer were such excellent cinematic masterpieces and box office smashes, and because it's only been 12 years since Jim Carrey last spoke to us using only his sphincter, and because apparently YOU ASKED FOR IT, AMERICA (what could you possibly have done to deserve this?), there will be a new film following the exploits of the son of Ace Ventura.

According to this article, it seems the film will also feature the mother of this poor detective-spawn, who I can only imagine was accidentally given Ace's genetic material at a fertility clinic. Either that, or she is insane. I mean really. This whole enterprise just has "BAD IDEA" written all over it in big bold letters, even within its own storyline.

You know, the only thing that might save this film would be if the kid's mom would be Lois Einhorn, once again played by Sean Young, and there is never any mention of the whole Ray Finkel thing. WE, THE AUDIENCE, WILL JUST KNOW.

Of course, that means trusting the audience and not holding their hands completely. Which means it will never happen. So this will be another useless pile of unfunny celluloid garbage.

Today's Video 7/17/07 - No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Cardinal Biggles...fetch the CUSHIONS!

People Are Being Simpsonized!

Photographic software is really neat. You know how they have those programs that can age you, or show a couple what their kids might look like (but for real, not like those Conan O'Brien deals)? Well now, thanks to the folks at Burger King, you can become a Simpsons character! Pretty awesome, guys!

Comic Book Guy calls it the "worst. Idea. Ever." Which probably means it's pretty awesome. He's one of those contrary types.

I Believe in Harvey Dent

With Aaron Eckhart appearing in Batman: The Dark Knight as District Attorney Harvey Dent, there has been much speculation as to whether his alter ego, Two-Face, will also appear.

Apparently, he will.

Billy Dee Williams and I are still a bit miffed over the whole Tommy Lee Jones thing, by the way.

Today's Video 7/16/07 - Neat!

tHere's a video for the song "Typical" by a band called Mute Math. It is a pretty neat video and the song has sort of a 90s vibe to it. Also the guy plays a keytar in the video, so he gets unlimited points from me for that gutsy move.

Today's Video 7/12/07 - Who Wants a Body Massage?

Body massage!

Robot Emcees Korean Wedding

Seok Gyeong-Jae is in no danger of getting his geek card revoked. He and his surely long-suffering wife were married in a ceremony emceed by Tiro, a female-voiced robot.

Apparently robots are finally starting to take on humanity's less desirable tasks...

Today's Video 7/11/07 - Leonard Ghostal's Twilight Zone

Space Ghost's grandpa has some choice words for Rob Zombie and Raven Symone.

Cloverfield Update

Since the name Cloverfield is getting too hot, J.J. Abrams and his team may be changing things up a bit. From an actor working on the film:

If you want to see this being filmed on location(*s) and live in the LA area, just watch for the shoot direction signs labeled “Slusho”.
Oh, and that brings me to another oddity: The ID tags for the shoot on the trucks say “Slusho: You can’t eat more than 6″ and a drawing of a slurpee like drink.

The inside source has a number of other interesting nuggets of joy; check out the article here.

The inside source corroborates with all the Ethan Haas stuff that's been flying around the intertubes of late, but there's a new wrinkle to that situation as well. Harry Knowles, webmaster of Ain't It Cool News and uber film geek, received a communique from Abrams denying involvement in the Ethan Haas sites, and perhaps suggesting that there ARE sites to be found, but they remain undiscovered. Let's get to work, guys.

Finally, here's a link to a beautiful QuickTime version of the trailer. No more crappy YouTube bootlegs! Hooray!

Get Smart?

I'm a bit conflicted over this whole Get Smart thing.

I mean, I really liked the show when I was growing up, and I would hate to see it get the Underdog treatment. It's a good premise with a solid pedigree (it was created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, two of the funniest people of their time or any other) and the unparalleled comic timing of Don Adams. It would be a shame for the first exposure to the property for a new generation of people to be some kind of generic spy deal with a flavor of the month comedian bumbling around like a bad impression of Steve Martin's Inspector Clouseau.

Also, I hear the script for this film is terrible.

On the other hand, I can't think of anyone better suited to play Agent 86 than Steve Carell. The rest of the casting seems incredibly solid (Academy Award winner Alan Arkin, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Terence Stamp, and the lovely Anne Hathaway), so maybe this ragtag team of quality actors can perform a feat of comedic alchemy? It's a good bet, but we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, this trailer will be premiering in front of the new Harry Potter movie, but I'll post the link here so you don't have to buy a full price movie ticket to a movie you're just going to walk out of just to see the Get Smart trailer...

Trailers From Hell

Seriously, that's the name of the site.

If you think it would be interesting to watch trailers for schlocky classic movies with commentary by awesome directors like Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead), Joe Dante (Gremlins), and John Landis (See You Next Wednesday), you should check out Trailers From Hell.

Here, Edgar Wright dissects the trailer from 1967's Danger: Diabolik, wherein are discovered the sources for most of Austin Powers production design, costume design, and plot.

Who Watches the Watchmen?

A lot of people, apparently.

Rorschach's Journal is now fully operational, though sadly it seems to be as much a viral marketing tool as it is an outlet for miscellaneous press clippings.

Among the interesting items to be gleaned:

-Director Zack Snyder does not have as free a hand as you might think, despite the success of 300. Studios can be so annoying. Read the full interview here.

-Billy Crudup is expected to be announced in the role of Dr. Manhattan. I'm not too sure about this one - he's a solid actor, I just wasn't counting on everyone's favorite big blue nuclear accident sounding like a MasterCard commercial. (Billy Crudup has been narrating those "priceless" MasterCard commercials since their inception like a billion years ago.) That's the kind of role that maybe Doug Jones should be acting, and Laurence Fishburne should be voicing. Oh, well.

-More viral marketing: The website for Adrian Veidt's personal improvement course, The Veidt Method, is now online. Most of the links don't work yet, but you can get yourself on a mailing list.

Today's Video 7/10/07 - I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

Interpol's new album, Our Love To Admire, hits the streets today. Check out the video for the album's first single, Heinrich Maneuver. At first, I thought it was the most boring video evar, but then once you figure out what's going on it gets a bit more interesting. Maybe?

Jon Favreau, Vegas Security Guard?

Iron Man director Jon Favreau took the time to address the fans on his MySpace page, deflecting rumors and doing some spin control. Wondering who the bad guys are? Wondering if Sam Jackson's really going to show up? Check it out.

TRAILER - Renaissance

I'd really like to know how this one slipped past me, guys. This came out in 2006!

USAToday Ripped Off My Cloverfield Article

So I was reading the USAToday this morning, and I was shocked to read all about the Cloverfield trailer. However, I didn't learn anything new because everything relevant in the USAToday article is stuff I posted on Friday. So I guess I scooped the national paper?

One thing the article mentions that I omitted from my Friday post was the theory that this might be a trailer for the upcoming Voltron film. However, I believe this is utter Bolshevik for a number of reasons: 1) J.J. Abrams is not attached to the Voltron project, 2) according to the IMDb (which I know may be unreliable, but whatever), Justin Marks is writing Voltron (read the script review here), and the Cloverfield trailer clearly states the writer as being Drew Goddard, 3) the idea came up initially because someone misheard the line in the trailer "it's alive and it's huge" as "it's a lion and it's huge," and 4) they haven't even cast Voltron yet, so if they're going to put this special effects extravaganza out in January they might want to get going, don't you think? If that's the hill the rumor mill wants to die on, be my guest, guys.

One very oblique clue may be in the project's code name. It has been posited that Cloverfield may be a reference to the Wolfmother song "Joker and the Thief", specifically the line: "Can you see the joker flying over/As she's standing in the field of clover." Is there something in the song that may give a clue to the plot? On the surface, it doesn't seem so. Time will tell, as it often does with this sort of thing.

Here is a bootleg trailer in typical bootleg quality, for any of you who may not have seen Transformers (is there anyone left?):

Watch it before Paramount takes it down!

REVIEW - Transformers

NOTE: I am not making any "more than meets the eye" puns in this review, so don't even look for them, okay? Not happening.

If one were judging the live-action film adaptation of Transformers by the same standards as most films, it would probably come up short. It probably would rate somewhere in the middle of that spate of horrible summer blockbuster films that it's been my bad fortune to sit through.

Transformers is a big, loud, dumb, nonsensical, obnoxious film. It treats the viewer as if he was a complete retard (how many times will they tell us that Qatar is in the Middle East?), it's chock full of plot holes, factual errors (the Laurentian Abyss is deeper than the Mariana Trench? etc.) and a wide variety of implausibilities too numerous to mention, and it's probably about half an hour too long. It is also a movie based on a half-hour toy commercial from the 1980s, and it was directed by Michael Bay, who is a complete and utter toolshed.

However, NONE OF THIS MATTERS. There are three things that completely redeem this movie and ensure that it is beyond any and all negative criticism:

1. Shia LaBeouf. This kid is the real deal, guys. His performance as Sam Witwicky holds the movie together in a superhuman feat of acting that Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson together were unable to pull off in Bay's (only?) attempt at making a "smart movie" (a failed attempt), The Island. He is likeable, relatable, has good chemistry with the other actors, and most importantly he can act with characters who don't exist. As Hollywood is beginning to learn, not all actors can do this; there are great actors who are just horrible in front of a greenscreen. Shia does a fine job, and his grounded performance makes a movie with such a ridiculous premise a bit less ridiculous. I'm still a bit undecided about having him in the new Indiana Jones film, but at least I know that he won't be the worst thing about it.

2. Giant robots beating each other up and destroying stuff. As regular readers of Death By Pop know, robots are awesome. Giant robots moreso. And then you put them in a big city and have them fight each other for like 45 minutes? Seriously awesome. In the past, one criticism of Michael Bay's staging of action scenes has been the lack of geography; a lot of quick cuts and Avid farts are not necessarily exciting - whether Linkin Park is blaring over it or not, it doesn't matter if you can't tell what's going on. Bay seems to have improved in that respect this time around. Industrial Light & Magic should be commended for their work - the bots in Transformers are getting as dangerously close to photorealism as some of those shots in Ratatouille. As befits a Bay movie, there is spectacular architectural carnage, imperiled bystanders (an old Bay crutch to add drama), and the cinematic equivalent of an insurance adjuster's worst nightmare. With robots!

3. Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime. Growing up, I was never a huge Transformers fan. I had a few of the toys, occasionally watched the cartoon. But nostalgia counts for a lot, and as Transformers began with an expositional narration by Prime, I immediately realized that without Peter Cullen's voice in the film the entire enterprise would never have worked. Not only is he the bridge between the old-school Transformers and the newer, infinitely more complex incarnations, but I'm pretty sure no one else can deliver Prime's ridiculously optimistic dialogue without a trace of sarcasm quite like Cullen. You can have Shia LeBeouf and giant robots blowing up stuff, but without the voice of Optimus Prime you simply don't have Transformers, and the film would fail. Fail spectacularly, but fail all the same.

Kevin Dunn and Julie White provided all the film's necessary comic relief as Sam Witwicky's parents. Megan Fox's character has absolutely nothing to do in the film aside from standing around looking totally hot (she succeeds). I'm not sure what John Turturro is doing in a Michael Bay film, but he's all right playing a poor man's Gary Oldman from The Professional. There's some hot Australian girl playing a hacker, because most hackers in Michael Bay's world are apparently hot Australian ladies. Hugo Weaving voices the evil Megatron. He does a good job, but you never really recognize his voice, which is cool because if you did you'd realize it was the dude from the Matrix. Anthony Anderson eats a plate of donuts and uses a computer to broadcast Morse code on a shortwave radio, which makes even less sense in the context of the movie than it does in theory. The President has a cameo, where he orders some ding dongs. This actually furthers the plot more than one might expect.

When you walk into a Michael Bay movie, you know what you're going to get. Stuff's gonna blow up, and the only thing sexier than the ladies is going to be the cars and military hardware. So really he's the most qualified director to tackle Transformers, which means I really can't criticize the decision, or the results - despite the negative elements I've stated, I think Bay delivered the best Transformers movie anyone could have hoped for. At the very least, it would have to be the most exciting. Except for the second half hour, that was just a waste of time. One can sense Bay wanting to get the setup stuff out of the way so he can get to some more stuff blowing up, and for once I agreed with him. I'm all for exposition, but only when it has something to do with the plot beyond justifying why the hot girl has to tag along for the whole movie (answer: because Sam's got the hots for her? I guess?). The stuff where the Autobots try to hide from Sam's parents was funny, but Jazz seemed like some kind of breakdancing stereotype and Bumblebee "lubricating" on John Turturro was pretty lowbrow. Congratulations, John Turturro, you've been pissed on by a robot. I hope you were well paid for your trouble.

But like I said, none of this matters because Optimus Prime is pretty much the awesomest robot in the universe and he kicks some serious Decepticon butt in the movie, which is what we all want to see. Nobody's walking into Transformers looking for a Jane Austen costume drama, they want to see awesome robots causing wholesale destruction. And that's exactly what Transformers delivers.

Today's Video 7/9/07 - These Guys Would Like Transformers

Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok like stuff that blows up good. Real good.

Cephalopods Are Not Playing By The Rules

This little guy (only about a foot long) was found in a deep-sea pipeline filter off Hawaii's Big Island. What's the big deal? Well, it's got a mantle like a squid, but its arms are configured like an octopus. If it were a squid, it would also have a pair of tentacles much longer than the other arms.

It's clearly not an octopus. And it's not a squid. Currently, this "octosquid" is not classified by science. Perhaps squids and octopuses are biologically compatible? Add one more crazy creature to the ranks of the ocean deep's residents. WHO KNOWS WHAT SECRETS LIE UNDISCOVERED IN THE DEPTHS?!?

What is Cloverfield?

Cloverfield is the code name for a film currently in production, produced by J.J. Abrams (TV's Alias, Mission Impossible III, the upcoming Star Trek reboot). The actual name of the film has yet to be discovered, and all we know so far has been gleaned from a few viral marketing websites and a crazy trailer in front of press screenings of Transformers.

The trailer was on YouTube briefly until Paramount had it pulled, but here is a description from Cinematical's Scott Weinberg (imagination is often better than the real thing!):

We open with a bunch of teens partying. Apparently one of 'em is leaving town tomorrow and everyone's kind of bittersweet about it. Then they hear a giant ruckus and head outside to see a massive explosion in the distance. Out on the streets people are running around all panicky-like. Then the head of the Statue of Liberty lands in the middle of the street and the date of January 18, 2008, pops up. Oh, and it's all done with handheld video cameras.

Sounds pretty crazy to me. Except for the whole handheld camera thing, it sounds like a typical Independence Day-style summer explosion blockbuster. Abrams' involvement coupled with a January release date may mean that we've got something else on our hands. Usually, January is where studios send movies to die, but something like this might be able to carry the entire month on its own at the box office.

When done right, these viral marketing campaigns can be really awesome. If you ask me, the best one ever is still an ARG called The Beast, used in the marketing of Steven Spielberg's A.I.: Artificial Intelligence. Recently, the upcoming Batman sequel The Dark Knight has put up a Harvey Dent election website that was defaced by the Joker, and Snakes on a Plane had that website with the Sam Jackson automated phone recording, and then there's Rorschach's Journal for the upcoming Watchmen film, but these are all fairly passive compared to The Beast, where by playing the game you'd get phone calls from the Anti-Robot Militia threatening your family and stuff.

Right now, Cloverfield has a site where, if you can unlock it, you can see videos like this one:

Who is Ethan Haas? I suspect we'll find out eventually. There's also another site which doesn't have much on there yet, but I'm sure it'll be updated eventually.

The thing about these viral marketing campaigns is that they create a buzz about the film without actually revealing anything about it. What is Cloverfield? Some say a sequel to the American Godzilla remake (why???). Others suggest a possible connection to Abrams' show Lost, and that the film may somehow tie into the show. Still others posit that 1-18-08 isn't the release date, it's the title or setting of the film. I'd have to see the trailer to make that determination, but if people are wearing winter clothing that might work - it's New York, after all. And some very subtle hints on the Ethan Haas website have some wondering if some H.P Lovecraft action might be involved, which would be pretty insane.

Who knows?!? We'll just have to wait and see.

Today's Video 7/6/07 - Make Me Fries

I am now 100% certain that these are the actual words to Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter".

Mad props to Chris & Di.

Revisionist History?

Even James Earl Jones is no match for the Macho Man.

RANT - What I'm On About

Following Tuesday's vitriolic post regarding the trailer for Underdog, I received a number of responses, a sampling of which follows:

"...Isn't it a bit harsh to say you want a bunch of film executives to die?"

"To understate, it's stuff like this that makes me want to make my visits to DbP much less frequent."

"...Will you be instituting a bounty on the heads of these jerks? Because as an amateur bounty hunter, I would be interested in an exclusive contract...."

"We shud also hunt down the Pussy Cat Dolls and SKIN THEM A LIVE bcuz they r crappy singerz & danserz.[sic]"

..."Who do you think you are, the Punisher? Get off your high horse because next time you write a review I disagree with, I'll declare that someone should kill you, and see how you like it..."

Perhaps I went too far in saying that the makers of Underdog should be "hung by the neck until dead." I just want to stress to all you vigilantes and film geeks out there that I am not condoning any action that results in the murder or accidental death of the makers of Underdog, nor will a bounty be imposed on them, nor will contracts be taken out on their lives. I don't want anyone thinking that I want people to die or anything, and these days people clearly need things spelled out for them.

THAT SAID, I certainly stand by my statements regarding the worth of the live-action adaptation of Underdog. Am I the only person who is disgusted, incensed, enraged and sickened by that ridiculous piece of corporate greed? Judging by the mildly positive reception the trailer received in the theater, I guess so. This is a blatant and shameless attempt to make money at the expense of someone else's intellectual property.

The cartoon's conceits were never anything close to realistic and were incredibly cartoonish, and the very idea of making a live-action adaptation is so fundamentally flawed from its very concept - Underdog, Polly Purebred and Riff-Raff are, after all, anthropomorphized animals - that the film as presented bears no resemblance at all to its source material beyond the names. Let's make a movie about a CG talking penguin and his CG walrus pal as they go to the amusement park and end up fighting in World War II - we can call it Tennessee Tuxedo. SOUNDS RIDICULOUS? This type of thing is strip mining of popular culture at its absolute worst and those responsible should be held accountable. Why? Because it's becoming an epidemic and it needs to stop. For example, check out this poster which will grace your local cineplex very soon, if not right now:

You see what we're dealing with here? It's not going to stop. Look at those poor chipmunks, they look like rejects from Naughty By Nature. Not exactly true to the source material, guys. And Jason Lee? You are dead to me, now. This uses up all of Brodie's goodwill from Mallrats. For serious.

If you guys want to make a movie about a dog who becomes a superhero in a lab experiment, go ahead. But don't call it Underdog, because that's the story of an anthropomorphic, shoe-shining dog who takes a pill to become a rhyming anthropomorphic dog superhero. All this, and can you believe there's no Teddy Ruxpin movie yet???

Today's Video 7/5/07 - Autobots, Roll Out!

You may be wondering where my Transformers review is. Well, I probably won't get to see it until this weekend. I understand I'm in danger of getting my geek card revoked, but I'M SORRY IF I HAVE A LIFE ONCE IN A WHILE.
In the meantime, check out these dudes who are NOT in danger of getting their geek cards revoked. Too much time on their hands? Maybe, but that Optimus Prime guy is pretty awesome!

Mad props to Jman.

TRAILERS - A Sense of Perspective

Lest readers believe that my reviews and etc. are perhaps determined by my mood or bribery or some other outside forces, I will present to you a pair of trailers I was made to endure before viewing Pixar's wondrous Ratatouille.

First, this...whatever it is.

Basically, what the deal is here is that while making Stranger Than Fiction, Dustin Hoffman complained to writer Zach Helm that he lost the part of Willy Wonka to Johnny Depp. So Helm decided to write and direct this. Whatever it is.

Apparently this film was made so that you can go back and watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and appreciate it even more because now you know how bad it could have been.

On to this piece of worm-ridden filth: When I first saw this, I thought it was some kind of joke; a Saturday Night Live- or MadTV-style parody trailer lampooning the current trend of pillaging any and all properties with nostalgic value for the purpose of a quick buck. But no, this is the real deal, folks. Weep for humanity.

It saddens me that Jason Lee is even involved in this project, because I really feel that everyone involved in the making of this film should be hung by the neck until dead. This is a nonsensical ABOMINATION even worse than those horrible Garfield movies they've been making lately. Would it shock anyone to know that some of the producers of Underdog are also responsible for those disgusting Inspector Gadget films? I remain unsurprised.

Today's Video 7/3/07 - Spatula City!

The place to go for all your spatula needs.

TRAILER - Wall-E

While I'm on a Pixar kick today, I'll go ahead and post the trailer to their next hit film.

First of all, regular readers will know that anything involving robots is at least going to be looked at favorably by Death By Pop. Also, by using the music from Terry Gilliam's Brazil in the trailer, they have basically guaranteed that I will love this trailer. And you know what?

I love this trailer.

REVIEW - Ratatouille

In the midst of all the horrible things in this world today, there is one thing which shines as a beacon of hope, a symbol of all that is good and right and true in this world.

It's called PIXAR.

Ratatouille is a movie about a rat who loves food and has a talent for cooking. But, like most Pixar films, that's really not the point of the story. What this story is really about is the importance of doing what you love to do, the uselessness and occasional usefulness of organized criticism, and the triumph of art over commercialism. In typical fashion, director Brad Bird (The Iron Giant, The Incredibles) has crafted a story that is both entertaining and relevant to the human condition. Yes, in a movie about rats.

This in itself would make for at least a pretty decent movie, but this is a Pixar movie, so there is the whole CG thing to deal with. Since Toy Story, each of their films has improved on the graphics exponentially. In Monsters Inc., they tackled the problem of Sully's fur, but in Ratatouille they've perfected it. When you see Remy the rat stop running, and you see his little heart beating a mile a minute...the attention to detail is staggering. Not to mention the photo-realism. While the human characters are caricatured in a style reminiscent of the 1997 Pixar short Geri's Game, the rats are (mostly) designed in a realistic way and the environments are simply phenomenal. There are shots in this film that look like live action. Rain shots, guys. I remind you that this is a Pixar film, and I will repeat the statement that there are RAIN SHOTS IN THIS FILM THAT LOOK LIKE LIVE ACTION.

I don't mind celebrity voices when they're well cast, but the worst thing is when you have a donkey that is very obviously Eddie Murphy, or Robin Williams as a crackheaded genie. Yes, it works, they're funny etc., but it's also potentially distracting and can take you out of the story because you know it's not actually a walking green eyeball whose voice is similar to Billy Crystal's, it's Billy Crystal playing a walking green eyeball. Brad Bird has always had a good ear for voice talent; even when he uses big names like Samuel L. Jackson or potentially inept people like Jennifer Aniston, they end up bringing more than just their on-screen personas to the table and it ends up being pretty good. In Ratatouille, once again Bird casts for quality. Patton Oswalt isn't exactly a household name, but he anchors the movie with an intense enthusiasm and does an all around awesome job. Peter O'Toole is suitably versatile as restaurant critic Anton Ego. We all know Ian Holm can do a fake French accent (at least we do if we've seen Time Bandits), but who would have guessed that Janeane Garofalo could do such a good French accent? I'm no expert, and maybe a real French person would think it was pretty bad, but to the non-linguist, it was quite effective. Brian Dennehy, Brad Garrett, Will Arnett, and Pixar staple John Ratzenberger round out the famous cast. Notably, Pixar employees Lou Romano and Peter Sohn play key roles as young chef Linguini and Remy's brother Emile, respectively. Brad Bird knows exactly what he's doing on all fronts. THIS IS PROVABLE FACT AND CANNOT BE DISPUTED.

Ratatouille is a rare case of everyone working on a film knowing exactly what they're doing. There isn't a weak link anywhere in the process of making this film, and everyone seems to be committed to making a work of art. Perhaps one reason the film works so well is because everyone involved in the process understands the themes of the story so well. Like the chefs in Gusteau's kitchen, everyone in the process is involved in making a very personal piece of art. Put together, their efforts are not unlike a perfect four-course meal that even Anton Ego would love. In a summer of frozen microwave burritos and Red Baron pizzas, Ratatouille is truly a five star effort from a five star kitchen.

NOTE: After a depressing series of trailers, Pixar delivers another palate-cleansing short film before the feature. As is the case with these Pixar shorts, the short preceeding Ratatouille is excellent. Lifted, the story of an alien abduction gone hilariously wrong, was written and directed by 7-time Oscar winner (for Sound Design) Gary Rydstrom. Great use of the Wilhelm scream, Gary! Also, keep making movies because Lifted was really good!

Today's Video 7/2/07 - You Feed Beef Burgers To Swans

Ladies and gentlemen, Alan Partridge.

Steve Coogan is the man.