Paris Hilton Wants To Tell You About Drunk Elephants

Naturally beautiful. Incredibly talented. Monumentally intelligent. Paris Hilton is none of these things. But there's one thing that she is: totally famous! And what she's doing these days is keeping a low profile, and using her fame to help causes worldwide. Which is why she's been so completely absent from the spotlight lately.

Her charity trip to Rwanda - where she wanted to prove to Rwandans that Americans can be skinny too - was postponed until next year. In the meantime, while judging a beauty contest in Tokyo, she spoke to the press about India's problem with drunk elephants.

You thought I was kidding.

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," she said. After relating that six drunk elephants were killed when the utility pole they uprooted electrocuted them, she continued, "There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad."

Sangeeta Goswami, head of animal rights group People for Animals, told The Associated Press: "I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents of wild elephants in northeast India going berserk after drinking homemade rice beer and getting killed. As part of her global elephant campaign, Hilton should, in fact, think of visiting this region literally infested with elephants."

The interesting thing here is that there is no mention of where Hilton learned this information. Based on Goswami's statement, it is clear that Hilton hasn't personally visited the affected area. I dunno, just something I noticed.

Another conservationist said elephant alcohol abuse was just a symptom of the real problem. "Elephants appear on human settlements because they have no habitat left due to wanton destruction of forests," said Soumyadeep Dutta, who heads Nature's Beckon, a leading regional conservation group.

Sounds like we need to get some kind of 12-step program for these elephants, some kind of treatment center. The Paris Hilton Clinic, perhaps.

Paris Hilton - saving the world, one drunk elephant at a time!